Monday, May 17, 2010

There's one in every crowd...

I have recently become obsessed with assholes. Not the 'winking brown knot hole of love' kind either, but the 'walking upright' kind instead...

A few nights ago, out for a lovely evening in a group, we had our night not quite spoiled by one member of our party. Being the high strung prick that I am this may, or may not, have bothered me a bit more than it did my companions; either way it did put me to thinking and I came to a realization.

Pretty much every fun thing I do is consistently spoiled, or at the every least tainted, by the participation of a small but annoying minority. Be it their epic levels if inebriation, over whelming urge to be the alpha male or just general assholiness it seems like every thing I do and every social event I attend is plagued by this issue. You have 1% of the population fucking it all up for the remaining 99% and it seems like they fall into one of two groups; proud or clueless.

More often then not your asshole is just some guy, or gal, who has no idea just how much they are mangling the experience of those around them but in a few special cases you get that special brand of asswipe who takes some kind of pride in being public douche bag #1. I'm not sure if it's the romanticizing of the bad boy in popular culture or people are just fucking bred like that but what the fuck!

Well fuck this shit, I have had my good time ruined by these fuckers one time to many; next kid that shits in my Cheerios is in for a surprise because I am going to ask them to stop, leave, get the fuck out of my space or other wise bug the fuck off and quit fucking it up for everyone else no matter how it makes me look. I don't care if it makes me look like an asshole or not...

Oh, wait...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Locking Down Good Etiquette While Locking Up...

Locking up your bike does not, on the surface, seem to be a situation where proper manners come into play. It all seems like pretty simple coming sense chit; Don't lock up to gates, respect others property, obey signage, don't block people in and don't fucking lock up to strangers bike!!

The other morning I went outside with the plan of riding my bike somewhere only to find a remnant of the party one of my neighbors threw still locked up to my bike; through only the rear wheel no less. Needless to say I was nonplussed with this inconvenience impeding my ability to, you know, live my life. Not being quite enough of an asshole to beat on the doors of all my neighbors in order to find the offender I was forced to alter my plans.

Sadly I was unable to lie in wait for the hooligan who locked his hipster whip to my bike. Not just because I wanted to verbally berate him but because after he unlocked from me I was able to see that during some part of the whole procedure he had managed to knock my wheel significantly out of true and move it in the drop outs... I don't have the words to articulate just how pissed off this makes me. Not only have I been inconvenienced but this shit head would have cost me money if I, like many bicycle owners, did not know how to true my wheel myself.

The thing that really floors me about the whole thing is that somebody would lock up to a complete strangers bike and then leave it there for a significant amount of time! Lock up to a stranger bike and for all you know the person you locked to could be planning on leaving in a couple of minutes and you just made them late for work. I mean are people so fucking lazy they can't just walk down the block a bit and find another spot to lock up? It seems bizarre to me that should be an issue with people who choose a form of transportation that relies on them to power it. Coupled with the complete disregard for others property that locking to my wheel, the most fragile part of a bike, demonstrates.

Of course this does not apply if you are locking to somebody you know, and find them to let them know. I do this myself from time to time but always find the friend I am locked to and let them know. I also make sure to let said friend know I'm locked to them so they know to find me when they leave. Most importantly I am respectful of their property and make sure to not damage their bike when I lock to it.

Next time this happens I'm going to sit and wait till my bike gets unlocked and then beat the perpetrator in the head with is own u-lock...

What other important lock etiquette do you think should be followed?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A Blog Reborn, Again...

Welcome, once again, to yet another retooling of my little slice of the blogosphere. Once again I am feeling the need to pollute the information super highway with all of the various crap that floats in and out of my brain; of course this time it actually is going to be a little different, and not just because I actually stick to updating it…

In the past I have tried to center on the seemingly endless well of hate I have for, well, pretty much everything and everybody but I am looking to branch out a little bit because to be flat honest with you trying to sit down and write about stuff I hate every other day or so is less cathartic then one would think; it’s also probably not the most fun thing in the world to tune in and read the ramblings of a complete malcontent every day or two. After some careful thought (I drank a fuck ton of gin and remembered I had a blog) I have decided that this thing is also going to focus on my interests outside of hate and anger. Expect to see entries on bikes, bike advocacy, alcohol, books and general trouble making plus whatever the hell else catches my ADD attention for more than 20 or thirty minutes.

I am also planning to try and stick to a better schedule of updates, minimum two or three a week. I have been trying to create a stock pile of stuff so when I get busy I can still get stuff posted. Feel free to comment on anything you read here be it positive or negative because quite honestly I need the attention and any attention is good attention, I wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

Mind you I am not planning to eliminate the hate, lord no I need to get this shit out of my system and you would not fucking believe what a shrink wants to charge you per hour just to tell them you want to stab people who waste your time in line at the 7-11 buying 30 dollars worth of lotto tickets. Those fuckers can pay their stupidity tax on their own time thank you very much; as much as it pisses me off the state robs the people who can afford it the least of what little cash they have by selling them hope how can you feel that sorry for somebody who does not have enough of a grasp on basic math to see that the odds are horrible no matter how many tickets you buy? Maybe if you took all the money you spend lotto tickets and scratch off you’d have enough savings you didn’t have to blow everything you have hopping to win big and make yourself solvent...