Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Laundry letter...

Dear gaping fuckhole neighbors I share a washing machine with,

You have left me no choice. I did not want it to come to this but my hands are tied. There is nothing else to be done. A man can only be pushed so far before he has no choice but to push back.

This last load of laundry was my last here. No more shall I enjoy the easy convenience of in building laundry. Forevermore I am, thanks to your callous and ignorant actions, condemned to a life of laundromats and drop off service. Never again will I be able to simply walk down the stairs and wash my clothes because the washer and drier are going to be full of urine; my urine.

Cry all you want, I have no regrets.

You knew the risks but you choose to ignore the consequences and willfully breached laundry room etiquette. It's true my passive aggressive notice, posted after your last bought or extreme assholery, concerning proper laundry room behavior didn't list exactly what those consequences were it did say there would be a price to be paid if certain levels of civility could not be maintained.

You knew this was coming and you have nobody to blame but yourself; or at the very least whatever jerk-stick displaced my laundry. I mean would it have been THAT fucking hard to just let the fucking cycle for the washer finish instead of removing my soap drenched clothes and tossing them in the filthy laundry sink? I mean I guess maybe something could have come up where you needed whatever the fuck were washing done immediately but I am guessing the need to fuck my clothes up came mostly from piss poor planning on your part.

Oh, and just so you know, that pretty dress you where washing in preparation for whatever it is you had to have it clean for?

It's full of my pee.

I hope you get a rash, bitch.

Now I know my own actions here seem callous and ignorant as well... Actually they probably are but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

1 comment:

  1. that's fucked up! I mean her, not you.. well, a little you.. but I still love you... and that's still fucked up.

    I hate laundry mats!

    Maybe you should consider peeing in a bucket in your flat and then dumping the bucket everyday into the machine.