Monday, December 7, 2009

Wow, they really will give anyone a gun...

So today at lunch I went to the ye olde chinese buffet and saw something that struck me as sad, funny and amazing all at the same time. It also caused me to nearly poop myself in a public place as my entire body siezed up over the internal battle to act out vs. the very real need to not do so. So what was it, you may ask, that pushed me to the verge complete and total rectal prolapse in a public place?

Well I'll tell ya.

During my second trip to the feed trough I heard a man loudly doing the 'excuse me, what is this?' thing to one of the tiny asian ladies that man the slop line. It was not only the volume that got my attention but the fact somebody was even asking because here, like many buffets, the dishes all have labels over them. After a few repeats his question was answered and, the mystyery was solved and I sauntered over near him to satisfy my curiosity over, A) who the hell needs to ask these kindsof questions and B) was there, or was there not, a little sign over the dish.

Looking over I saw that yes, there was a sign that clearly labled the food item in question 'Chicken Sticks' which, I think, makes things pretty clear as to what one is about to consume. Now at this point it was kinda amusing in that 'this is where society has gone' kinda way but when I glanced over at the custome rin question it became both hilarious and sad all at the same time because the first thing I noticed about the mystery patron was his gun and his badge...

Yep, not only was the boy genius a cop but he was a detective! A fucking detective! This cat is supposed to be a step above and beyond your average uniformed officer when it comes to the powers of observation, deduction and reasoning and he was still unable to figure out that the chicken like meat on a stick he was gaving at, under the 3x5 card that said 'chicken sticks' was, indeed, chicken with out looking to outside help! It's bad enough this dude has a gun but what about all the guys on the local police force that this guy passed over for the promotion to detective?!

My god, you don't suppose they let them have live ammo do you?

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