Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Where the Wild Things Send a Horrible Message and Rape My Childhood...

Oh dear or dear where to even start with this fucking travesty of film making torn from the pages of our collective childhoods...

First off there comes the question of just how much of our childhood this book really is and how much of it's supposed cultural relevance is manufactured by the promoters of this epic turd of a movie. While I remember the book, and loving the illustration in it, I have absolutely no recollection of the actual story beyond a bad kid hanging out with monsters. Interestingly enough a large portion of the people I have spoken to who 'loved' the book could not remember the story themselves; not surprising since I remember it having like 20 words... With so many people having only a vague memory of the book one has to wonder is it truly a book loved by all or just shared cultural memory that has been exploited by a media and commercially savvy movie industry? I vote for the later but I'm a pretty paranoid guy...

Truth be told as much as I hate being manipulated by studios who, lacking any real creativity, rip off the things we loved when we where young or proven formulas if the end result is me sitting down, eating a huge bag of popcorn and enjoying a cherry Coke and watching a good movie then I can pretty much put all of that aside because, honestly, I have a short attention span and bright flashing lights enthrall me. Sadly Where the Wild Things Are not only does not manage to mitigate that rage but it actually generates additional rage.

Production wise I really have no issues with the movie, in fact it was refreshing to see a pretty simple movie effects wise in the day of over the top CGI epics. The costume and set design was simple and well done and worked in many cases to set a mood, the monsters homes and architecture was wonderful. It was a very nice film to look at, but sadly that is there the joy ended for me.

The first thing that upset me was that Max, our child protagonist, is a horrible, horrible brat and at the start of the movie he is a complete shit and his mother offers him nothing in the way of punishment beyond a stern look. Later on we see max freaking out, biting his mother and running off into the night because he wasn't getting enough attention because mommy was trying to get a little sumptin'-sumptin'. After running away young Max boards the boat made of dreams and floats off to the land of make believe or the monster island or what ever the fuck it is...

The time in the isleand is pretty much as good as the movie gets and that's not saying much. The 'wild things' are interesting and all represent different parts of the personality (I assume) and somewhere in here we learn a lesson about behavior, expectations and some other stuff I was not all that clear on because, honestly, it's apretty convoluted story at this point and I think there was supposed ot be somekind of symbolisim in it all but I sure as hell missed it. After learning whatever lesson he learned on the island Max returns to the real world and runs his sorry ass back home and this is where the movie really pisses me the fuck off.

When this little shit of a kid returns home moms there, gives him a sad look of longing and procedes to give sad little Max, who inspite the mystery lesson on the island never once thinks to apologize for being a demon seed, a hug, feeds him some soup followed by a tasty piece of cake. Yeah, that's right. Fucking CAKE! The little bastard threw a tantrum, bit his mother, ran away and then comes home showing no external sign of remorse and his mom GIVES HIM FUCKING CAKE!! Great message we're sending kids, and parents, there eh? Yeah, yeah, I know the movie is aimed at adults but you don't think people are going to take kids to see it? You don't think the whole thing is going to be attractive to children? Fuck yes to both of those! On top of the mesage it sends to kids it's bullshit feel-good ending is a justification to every weak sauce pussy parent who wants to be their kids friend; fuck that shit. The little fucker should have recived an ass beating to end all as beatings, I know I would have if I had done that as a child, and I turned out OK.

I think.

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